Drama in real office life

Sometime in 1998 when I was Senior Personnel Officer at a PSU in Bihar, the following dramatic conversation took place. I thought it would be worth blogging.

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The cast of the play is as follows
Jose sahab (31 years, south INDIAN ): Shelly Jose, SPAO
Ratan (54 years, Bihari on the verge of retirement proud of being the chief's peon for over 15 years): The peon to the CHRM
CHRM (50 years, proud and arrogant Punjabi) Chief Human Resources Manager

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The Situation is an Office in an Indian PSU of the late 1990s

CHRM: (Rings the bell and Ratan enters)
“Jose sahib ko bulao” ("Call Mr. Jose")

Ratan : (Comes to Jose sahab’s cabin. Points with a full stretched arm at Jose sahab and flexes his elbow backwards thumb pointing to CHRM’s cabin and says “ Jose sahab, bade sahab”. ( The curt short way is the peon’s way of indicating that the big boss is calling urgently and probably very serious matter even very threatening to the subordinate Mr. Shelly Jose.)

(Jose enters CHRM’s cabin)

CHRM: “Jose, what happened to the thrust area report”?

Jose : “It is getting prepared sir”.

CHRM: “Jaldi karo, GM ne kaha hai. GM kaha hai tho aur kuch karne ka nahin. Khali yehi karthe rahna hai”

"Make it fast, GM has told. If GM says dont do anything else jusy keep doing this"

(smiles as if he has some hidden meanings)

(Jose leaves and after two minutes enters with a floppy disk in his hands.)
CHRM: “Ho gaya”? ("Done?")

Jose : “Yes sir”

CHRM : “Kaham hai”? ("Where is it ?")

Jose: Floppy meim hai sahib. PC meim dikha detha hoom.("It is in the floppy , I will show in the PC")

CHRM: Floppy meim? ("In the floppy?") (Throws up both hands in surrender) “I don’t want any virus”.

Jose: Thiik hai sahib. Print nikaltha hoom.("Ok sir I will take a print out")

(After some time enters with a paper print out.)

CHRM ( Reads the paper. )“Is ka target ham log May 1998 diya tha?”
("We had given the target as May 1998?")

Jose : Ji sir, GM ne kaha tha.("Yes sir, GM had told")

CHRM: GM ne kaha tha? ("GM had told?")"Then I don’t want to change it” (Pauses, goes through the paper) "Yeh BPR iska ham log kyom commit karthe hai?" ("Why are we committing on this BPR?")

Jose: Sir, we have already sent the areas for BPR to HO.

CHRM: "Wo sab Bhalla level meim change kara doonga yaar".
("All that we will change at the level of Mr. Bhalla my dear friend" the CHRM at HO)

Jose: Thiik hai sir, ("ok sir")

CHRM: Pointing to the phone. "Gurcharan Singh ko lagao" ( "Call Gurucharan Singh, PA to CHRM At HO)

(Jose dials)

Jose: Sir, engaged aa raha hai.(" Getting an engaged tone")

CHRM: (Shaking his head) "I cant do anything about that."
(Pointing to the PC). "Dekho mera ek file gayab ho gaya hai , jara doondo." ("I had lost a file, just find")

Jose: (trying to start the PC) "Sir, password diijiye". ("Sir, Please give the password")

CHRM : "Thiik hai phir aap udhar dekho" ( "Then you look that side")

Jose: "Sir, screen me dikhega nahim" ( Sir, it will not be displayed on the screen")

CHRM: "Phir bhi aap udhar dekho" ( "Still you look that side")

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