Why lone wolf ?

What we see out there is not what is in there!

What may be the reason for the title of this blog being lone wolf? Am I a loner? No. Am I lonely? Yes! Am I worried about it? No!!!

This is really getting no where. But the point is being alone and being lonely are two different things. The former is the physical fact of being alone. The latter is the mental awareness and the reactions to that awareness. I am sure it depends upon a lot of other things too. For instance if ou have a job or something worthwhile doing then one tends to be less bothered about the fact of aloneness. The needs in general are for Achievement, Affiliation and Power (Mc Clelland). Or Existence, Relatedness and growth (Alderfer).

While it may be so, there may be a tendency for idealism in me too. Which makes it extremely difficult for me to have freinds too many. I am friendly in the sense of not much of open conflict with others. But to be in the company of others for far too long is a burden on me. I need some time for myself. Rather I need a long time for myself.

This is sort of achieved by limiting the affiliation only to the work place. In this way the workplace serves the purpose of affiliation and the rest of it is mostly pent alone in the company of books or such media.

I enjoy riding, especially with my son. We hope to cover more areas as he grows older. I hope to journey through different subjects and my particular fond areas are the border between two or three disciplines. Hence a book like The Act of Creation and the ghost in the machine among my favourites.

Surprisingly the outdoors appeal to me as also the indoors. Only the journey is different. In this sense I may be bipolar. This I hope makes life a lot more meaningful. So even though I may be at ease with the people I see daily, I am also eager to get back to myself sooner than later. Hence the title

But there is one place where I am at ease. With her. And even when she is not around she is with me.